The official blog of Nigel Burke...

Hi. My name is Nigel Burke and I work in the cold storage department of a local superstore. I enjoy real ale, Dire Straits and Dymo label-makers - the greatest invention of the 20th century.


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Appears my old ticker is broken! Maybe I should head over to the surgery and get a transplant.

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December 24th

This will be my final entry. I moved out of the house yesterday but more importantly I received the call I’ve been waiting for.

They need me now, there is a chap up there with not long left and they need someone to put him right. So it’s up to me. They told me I didn’t have to go; that it was purely voluntary; that they could probably find someone else in time; that they’d make a hero out of me.

I told them that this wasn’t the point. I’m no hero, I’m just a bloke, just a man making the most of himself so that others might benefit. All I want to do is leave the world a slightly better place than when I joined it, that’s all.

It’s all that any real man could want and in that regard we are all heroes, one way or another.

So now I’m leaving this world. I don’t know if I’ll be back, but there are a few people here today that I hope find it a better place than it would have been if I’d not been in it with them. It’s all any real man could want.

Nigel Burke

December 21st

Went to the pub last night with the guys from work. They were asking me a lot of questions about medical matters and first aid. I did my best to answer them as best I could. It seemed to be a popular topic add by the end of the night there were a bunch of people listening in. Even the barman seemed interested (either that or the phone was broken).

Got home to find that Trisha had called again and left a message. She was in tears. Apparently, she’d received the letter and in between the sobs I think she was saying that it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever read. She also said a few other things as well, but I don’t think I should repeat them here. Some things lose their purity in the telling.

December 20th

Packing. Lots of boxes in the house now with all my stuff going into them.  Its taking me quite some time to pack everything, and I keep losing my watch then finding an old one. This must have happened about 5 times so far. I’m going to miss this place.

Went into work early today with a new Christmas tree. A real one. Managed to set it up in the entrance before anyone else arrived. Gold tinsel and red baubles and a silver star on top. The guys’ faces were a real picture when they arrived. Made me smile.

December 17th

Ex wife called to ask how the sale of the house was going. I said it looks like I’ll be out the Friday before Christmas, in about a week’s time. She said “that was quick”, so I replied that I’ve not wanted to draw it out and if I have to leave the home of my dreams both physical and metaphysical then best to get on with it than to prolong the agony. She was rather quiet after that.

Tried to call Trisha again but yet again the number did not work. So I wrote her a letter. I won’t bore you with the content but I think she’ll like it.

December 15th

Mustachioed Head Boss called me to his office and said ‘thank you’ for dealing with the difficult and possibly life -threatening situation in the store. He then asked me if I wanted to do first aid training.

I said that I’m not sure I’d gain anything more from it. He looked at me for a second with a puzzled look on his face and then said “Who are you Nigel?” I said “Just a bloke doing his part sir”. He didn’t seem like talking after that.

December 14th

We have had to take the Christmas decorations down at the store. We had a few complaints from customers on the colour scheme but the crunch came yesterday.

The lights went haywire for about 3 minutes flashing as fast as I’ve seen them and a couple of customers keeled over and started shaking on the floor. The other staff didn’t know what was going on but it was clear that these poor people were suffering from photosensitive epilepsy and were having a seizure.

One of them was particularly violent. I told the other guys this but they just looked at me blankly. So I said they’re having a fit and tried to make sure they didn’t bite their tongues. Once they’d stopped I put them in the recovery position and made sure someone had called an ambulance.

Anyway to cut a long story short we had to take the decorations down. Also everyone in the shop kind of looks at me funny now as well, as if they’re seeing me for the first time.